Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Fancy Crotch

I tried to leave this one alone because this is, in fact, a blog about fashion. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized fashions for your vagina are no different than fashions for the rest of your body. Right?... Anyway...

Been feeling a little dull down there? Want to spice things up and designer underwear just ain't doing it for you? Fear not ladies (of the nation's many strip clubs I reckon...), 2011 is full of fun treats for your lady parts.

Vajazzling & Vatooing

Yes. Bedazzling & tattooing for your vag. All I have to say about this is- why? Is this even safe? According to the "Official Vajazzling Website" yes it is. I must divulge however, get one look at their cheaply made website and it makes me wonder where these things (the jewels and tattoos that is) come from. Probably not the sterile environment one should hope for when buying their genital decorations.

Vaginal Bleaching and Dying

Were you even aware that there is a "color" that your vagina should strive to be? I cannot be sure what that color is exactly, but there are a series of dyes and bleaches that can help you to achieve that level of greatness. As if we don't have enough to worry about, now there's vaginal racism? WTF? Raise your hand if the idea of bleach down there sounds at all desirable. Anyone? Anyone?

Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation

This ladies and gentleman, is a procedure that tightens vaginal muscles and support tissues resulting in prettier lady pieces. So technically, it's a facelift for your vagina. This procedure costs upwards in the $9000 range and if you've got enough money to waste on something so ridiculous, take it outside and burn it because getting this done makes you the most superficial person in the world.

There you have it. Three unique ways to jazz up your vag. Odd that we can't cure cancer, but we can come up with this crap.


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